Missing Max

Rating: ADULT
Category: Canon AU
E-mail: lieselvw@mweb.co.za
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Roswell, only a vivid imagination...

Summary: Accompanied piece to The Experiment Series. This is pretty sniffly in some parts, since it relates to Max having to go "out of town on business" so to speak and how his family copes with that. However, it also has his RETURN * evil grin *

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A sniffle in the bed next to her drew Liz's attention to her small daughter that was lying spooned between her and her son, Matthew. "What is it, Belle?" But she knew.

"I want Daddy," the little voice trembled with emotion.

So do I, sweetie! Liz thought ruefully as she hugged her two-year old closer and kissed the top of her dark head. This was the first time Max has been away for longer than a night or two and could not be reached by phone. The impact on their family was palpable. Max might think that she was the center of his life and his family, but the rest of them knew different. To his wife, his son and his daughter, Max Evans was the sun and the moon.

It had been a long and upsetting discussion between her and Max about whether or not they should go with him to an interplanetary meeting in another galaxy. Of course both of them wanted them all to go together, but they knew that their precious Matthew and Belle-Mari were too young to grasp the need for not telling anyone they had traveled on a spaceship to another planet. So in the end, the decision had been out of their hands, Max would go and Liz would stay behind with their kids.

The days before he left had been awful. Max adored his children. The only person with a bigger place in his heart was his wife. And knowing that he was leaving them behind for close to a month and they were too little to understand why had broken his heart. Added to that was the fact that their children were linked to them and could sense extreme emotions, so Matthew and Belle had known their Daddy was upset and sad, and that worsened their own distress.

*~*~*

The night before he left, Max sat on the floor of their living room with both his kids on his lap in his arms. They were vying for his attention with stories from the day at pre-school. He had smiled at Liz over their heads and mouthed 'I love you' at her while he listened.

Not surprisingly, there normally was a tussle about who gets to be in Max's arms for watching television. Everyone, from Liz to Matthew to Belle-Mari, wanted to be there and it had been quite an adjustment for Liz to have to share his hugs and embraces with their children. She loved them to death, but sometimes she lived for the moments, late at night, when Max was just hers again.

The later it got, the quieter and more withdrawn Matthew had become until the only voice still chattering was that of Belle. Matthew had moved to the couch to sit next to Liz, but Belle was clinging to Max, her chocolate eyes bright, as she told him how another little girl had pushed her off the swing. "I hurt my knee, Daddy!"

Max felt his chest constrict, it was such a stupid little thing, children scraped their knees all the time, but this reminded him of a long time ago, when another girl with chocolate eyes and pigtails had fallen on the stairs at school. It had given him a near heart attack when he saw the blood on her knees. He'd been 10-years old then and had wanted to do nothing more than rush over and help Liz. But he hadn't. He couldn't. Instead, he had stood watching as she wiped the blood off with a tissue while trying not to let anyone see that she wanted to cry. It had broken his heart. And nothing had changed in more than 15 years. Max Evans could still not stand to see the girls he loved, getting hurt.

"Show me, sweetie," he urged his daughter.

"I can't," she told him proudly.

Eyes narrowing, Max was sensing trouble. "What do you mean you can't?" He saw Matthew edge closer to Liz out of the corner of his eye.

Flinging her arms around her father's neck, Belle stood on his thigh so she can whisper in his ear. "It's all better."

"Who made it better?" Max asked her as he kissed her cheek. She was such a sweet, loving child.

"I did!" Matthew burst out abruptly, clutching Liz's arm. He knew very well that the only person that could save him from his father's wrath was his mother. "It was bleeding, Daddy! And-and Belle was crying." After risking a glance at his father, Matthew was now staring at the floor, biting his lip.

This day had to come eventually.

Liz felt how tense her little boy was where he sat next to her. While Max had never raised a hand or a voice to his children, they lived in perpetual awe of him and never wanted to disappoint him. Her eyes met Max's, and she felt his mixed emotions at what had happened. Pride at Matthew for looking out for his younger sister and worry that their children would get exposed for what they were, alien hybrids.

Kissing her five-year old on the top of his head, Liz rose. "It will be okay," she assured him softly as his anxious eyes pleaded with her not to leave.

She had to pry Belle off her daddy. She was determined not to let him out of her sight and to not fall asleep so she could spend more time with him before he left. Finally, Belle relented after Max promised to come read her a story later. She shared a few loud and sloppy kisses with Max and Liz took her off to bath.

Identical amber eyes regarded each other after the female half of the family was out of the room. Max moved onto the couch and lifted Matthew to sit on his knee. He told his son all he was feeling. Honesty was a very serious issue in the Evans household. He told him how much he appreciated Matthew looking out for his sister when Max couldn't. He told Matthew how much he loved him and how special he was.

And then he told Matthew exactly how special he was.

Matthew listened with a bent head to his father's story of who they were. He had known he was different from the day he was born. He had just not grasped precisely what that meant. He had never wondered why his mommy sometimes glowed where his father touched her or why his dad could make his mom better when she cut her hand last year. Or why he knew when his parents were near. Or how he had known that Belle was hurt and crying today.

"I took her behind the school to fix her," he finally informed Max solemnly.

Sighing, Max tried to explain why he couldn't just go around healing his sister and they ended up making some rules for when and how Matthew may use his powers.

After a tight an emotional hug between father and son, Max took Matthew to Belle-Mari's room so he could read them a story.

Liz stood in the door for a long time, just watching and listening to Max. He had the most beautiful voice and their kids were draped all over him as they hung onto each word. Belle fell asleep first, but Max kept reading until Matthew also lost the fight with slumber. She helped him tuck in both the children before he took her hand and led her to their room.

Inside, he held her against him tightly. "I'm going to miss you all so much."

It still amazed her that someone coming from a planet that didn't really know love, could love so well. Because neither she nor their children wondered if Max loved them. They knew because he told them and showed them every day.

"I'm going to miss you," he emphasized as he rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I'm going to miss touching your hair, hearing your voice, holding you."

Shivers ran through her body as she heard his voice rumble in his chest. There was no place she felt more at home than in Max's embrace. She inhaled his unique scent deeply, and it affected her like it always did. She pressed her lips against his neck, glorying in his heat and taste. This was going to be the longest period she has ever been out of his arms.

They kissed each other desperately, trying to get as close as possible before having to face the long weeks ahead alone. Max held her face in his hands, his mouth moving against hers deeply as she arched her body into closer contact with his.

He started unbuttoning her blouse but she stopped him. "I want to memorize every inch of you tonight," she told him huskily. "Slowly."

Holding his breath, Max let Liz pull him into their bathroom. He stood watching as she drew a bath, filling it with bubbles before turning to him. "Let's get you out of those clothes."

It was a languid seduction. She caressed and kissed every bit of skin she uncovered, until Max felt like he had fire in his veins instead of blood. Making him get into the tub first, she got in with him and settled herself between his legs, lying back on his chest so that the messy knot she made on top of her head tickled his nose.

How can people be satisfied with spending their lives in quiet desperation if they could be happy, Max wondered? Not everyone will meet a soul mate like he did, but everyone had it within their power to make the most of the relationships they were in, instead of hankering for something that might never be. He slid his hands under her arms and lifted her higher against him, until their cheeks rested against each other.

Quiet time with Liz. He would always ensure that his life never got so hectic that he would have to give this up. He loved his children, but he loved Liz too. And they owed each other some quality time.

Liz turned her face until her cheekbone rested against his mouth. So much was in her heart that she wanted to say, but she couldn't. And she didn't have to. Max felt everything she felt through their connection. "Max..." she whispered. Using his name to ward off the demons that lie in wait at the edge of her consciousness. Waiting for her to be alone so they could accost her.

His soapy hands traversed the hills and valleys of her body with familiarity. Knowing where to hover and where to skim. Knowing what made her sigh and purr. What made her arch into his touch and beg him for more.

After allowing him a few minutes of his own way, Liz finally caught his hands in hers, putting them on the sides of the tub. Then she proceeded to drive him crazy with her hands and mouth.

Until he had to stop her.

Enfolding her in a big fluffy towel after they climbed out of the tub, Max wrapped his arms around her, just holding her against him for more precious minutes. Saying good-bye was so difficult.

Back on their bed, their lovemaking was intense, but unhurried. They needed time to process each and every sensation, each and every feeling. Soft whispers of love and gentle sighs were the only sounds in the room for a long time.

Sliding inside her, Max kept the pace languorous, wanting to draw out their enjoyment for as long as possible. His hands bracketed her hips so he could dominate their rhythm. It was as glorious as always. Knowing she belonged to him, knowing she was his future.

Liz reveled in his strong and sure movements within her. It gave her a sense of security and completion to be joined to him like this. Her Max.

The end rushed upon them suddenly, enveloping their bodies in sweet release and wonderful ecstasy. Binding them even more tightly together.

Afterwards, they lay staring in each other's eyes, talking with their souls and hearts. Saying 'I love you' for yet another precious time in their lives.

The farewell of the next morning was terrible. Breakfast had been a strained affair and by the time Maria came to drop off Michael, who would be going with Max, and pick up the kids for pre-school, everyone's nerves were in tatters. Belle clung to her daddy with a trembling lip and eyes filled with tears causing Max to choke up too. He kept on kissing her sad little face, promising he'd be back as soon as he could.

Matthew was more subdued. He gave his father a hug, mumbling good-bye as he walked towards Maria's car with his head hung low and his hands shoved in his pockets. At that moment he looked so very much like Max that Liz caught her breath.

After promising Belle that she would come pick them up at school herself, Liz managed to get the little girl strapped into her car seat. Max observed this from the patio, his heart in his throat. Belle was a little Liz, her wide eyes showing all her emotions while Matthew reminded him of himself, shutting down on emotions before they could hurt him too much.

Matthew had just opened the car door before he abruptly turned around and raced back to his father, hurtling himself against Max's chest and into his open arms. "Bye Daddy! I'll miss you," he sniffled.

Max held him tightly for a few moments, having trouble controlling his emotions. "Bye Son. I love you. Look after Mommy and Belle, okay?"

Nodding against his chest, Matthew finally tore himself away and ran back to the car, wiping at his tears with the back of his hand.

As Maria drove away, Max held Liz's hand in a crushing grip, trying to get hold of his emotions. And the hardest part, saying good-bye to Liz, was still ahead of him...

Liz drove them all to the point where they were to be picked up. It was weird doing it in the bright light of day, but the ship apparently had technology that could hide it from both radar and the naked eye. Michael, cranky because he had to leave Maria, stalked off as soon as the car came to a halt, leaving Max and Liz alone.

Not knowing what to say, Max kissed Liz for the longest time. Only stopping when Michael yelled at them that the ship was there.

Then he was gone, leaving a huge hole in the lives of his family.

*~*~*

After Belle had been lulled to sleep again by Liz, she lay staring at the ceiling of the room she normally shared with Max. Maria was staying with them, sleeping in the spare room, but the huge bed had been too empty, so Liz allowed the kids to sleep with her.

While Belle burst into tears at odd moments throughout the long days that Max had been gone, Matthew had retreated into a silent little world, only brightening when he was talking to Liz or Belle. He seemed to be even more protective of his sister, not letting her out of his sight unless he had to.

An unexpected tug at the edge of her consciousness nearly had Liz jumping off the bed. She and Matthew sat up simultaneously and Matthew spoke both their thoughts aloud: "Daddy!"

He had been gone for a week-and-a-half now and they had all felt the absence of their connections with him acutely. To suddenly "feel" him again was wonderful.

"Belle," Matthew lifted his sister into a sitting position. "Daddy wants to talk to us, you have to concentrate." He looked like he knew what he was doing, so Liz let them be.

Matthew linked hands with his mother and Belle as they all sat cross-legged on the bed. "Concentrate on Daddy," Matthew instructed them.

A few minutes of intense concentration later, interspersed with Belle mumbling 'daddy', Matthew suddenly held out his one hand to the wall next to the bed and a blurry image of Max appeared.

Liz didn't know who was more surprised, her or Max. She could see him blinking in confusion as he stared at his family congregated on his bed.

"Daddy!" Belle squealed immediately, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Hey Sweetheart." Max had apparently recovered from his shock at being able to see them all. "I miss you all," he told them fervently.

"We miss you too," Liz responded. He looked so beautiful to her starved eyes. Across the light years, their gazes met and held like they always did. Talking in a language no one else had ever understood.

"I wish I could hold you now." Max was echoing what Liz was feeling. To have been able to touch him would've been wonderful.

"So tell me about your weeks," he urged their kids when he finally managed to tear his eyes away from Liz.

"I made you four pictures, Daddy!" Belle cried first, holding up three fingers.

Liz saw Max swallow emotionally. "Thank you, my baby," he said softly.

Matthew had been quiet all through the exchange, but now he looked at his father. "Are you coming back?" he asked suddenly.

The question sounded loud in the room.

Shock registered on Max's face as he saw the anxious look from Matthew. "Yes! Of course I'm coming back. You guys are my home," he tried to assure his son. He looked at Liz desperately. "I love you and your Mom. I hate being away from you. I'm coming back as soon as I can. I promise."

Matthew nodded his head and whispered. "Okay."

Not knowing how to make her two guys feel better, Liz cast around frantically for a solution. "Maybe-maybe we can make a date for a few nights from now to talk again?"

Max threw her a relieved and thankful glance. "I would love that. What do you say, Matt? Will you help Mommy and Belle to speak to me again on Friday?"

The nod this time was so eager it brought tears to Liz's eyes.

They chatted a few more minutes and the good-bye was supremely unsatisfying. No hugs or kisses or anything physical. But the kids seemed calmer and they fell asleep immediately.

It was another story for Liz. She was Max-deprived and she hated it. Her relationship with Max has always been very physical. Not necessarily sexual, but being in close physical proximity to him is like breathing. Holding his hand, hugging him, kissing him, touching his skin... She missed all that so much. She missed him caressing her hair at any given opportunity, she missed him brushing his lips across her forehead several times a day, the soft stroke of his fingers over the bare skin of her arm...

"Max," she whispered into the quiet room, wondering if maybe saying his name might conjure him up somehow.

It didn't.

*~*~*

The weeks dragged by with lead feet and sometimes Liz feared that time stood still to torture her on purpose. Maria was cranky and they had found out a couple of days ago that she was pregnant. On the other hand, the kids were happy now that they got to see Max regularly.

But it all made the wait worse for Liz.

She felt his absence everywhere. She felt it driving the kids to pre-school alone. She felt it in his empty space at the breakfast and dinner table. But mostly, she felt it in the empty ache in her heart and body.

"I feel horrible," Maria wailed as she finally appeared for breakfast. Going up to the fridge, she looked at the calendar Matthew had stuck against the door, marking off the days until his daddy will come home. "Only five more days before I can wring Michael's neck for getting me into this condition."

Liz grinned at her. "You know it takes two, right?"

"Liz, babe, I feel crappy. Don't make me hurt you because you're taking Space Boy's side!"

Holding up her hands up, Liz conceded defeat. Nothing really pacifies a grumpy pregnant woman anyway. "What do you want for breakfast then?"

"A whole plate of pancakes." When Maria saw Liz's raised eyebrows, she shrugged. "I'm eating for two, you know!"

"You're what?!" Michael bellowed from the door, causing both women to jump in fright.

The next moment, two screaming kids came running into the kitchen too. "Daddy! Daddy's home!"

It was complete chaos. Michael and Maria were arguing about whether or not she should have sent him a message through Max to let him know she was pregnant and Max was being smothered by two clinging toddlers.

Standing to the side, Liz clutched the back of a chair, trying to keep her emotions in check while what she really wanted to do was chase away everyone but Max. They had come home early!

Eyes meeting over the heads of their kids, Max and Liz said hello and I love you without words.

After a few minutes, Max said firmly that he needed to greet Mommy too and walked over to Liz with a child on each hip. Leaning over, he kissed her tenderly, leaving it to Liz to put her arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. It was too short and not at all satisfying, because it didn't take long for Matthew and Belle to complain about the lack of attention from Max.

Michael ended up dragging Maria off to their place, but not before she insisted Liz give her pancakes to take along. Max sat at the table with Matthew and Belle-Mari and listened to three weeks of tales of their lives.

And every time Liz passed him, they shared a soft kiss or he held her hand.

It was exquisite torture. They wanted each other so much they could taste it, but real life dictated that they could not just run off to their room to be together. So they sat at the table, had breakfast with their kids and afterwards drove the kids off to pre-school together. All the while trying to hide from their perceptive children how they really felt.

Realizing the kids needed reassuring that he wasn't going off again, Max told Liz he would walk them in to their classes. He promised them that he would pick them up that afternoon and they would go out for ice cream. This pacified both Belle and Matthew, because they knew one thing. Their Dad always kept his word.

Getting back in the Cherokee, Max gave Liz a long look before cupping her face in his hands and giving her a deep, hard kiss. "Phone your office and take the day off."

She grinned at him and waved her cell phone in the air. "Already done."

Max took a deep shuddering breath. "Let's go home then." His eyes burned into hers, setting liquid fire racing through her veins.

"Yes."

Back at their house, Liz followed Max inside. Desire throbbed inside her as fast as her rapidly beating heart. Deprived and lost were the only words she could think of to describe how she'd felt these past few weeks without Max.

The minute the door slammed closed behind him, all her feelings came rushing to the surface. She wasn't sure who turned first, who reached for whom first. It didn't matter because his arms were around her and his mouth came down hard on hers. She welcomed the firmness of his lips and the sweeping thrusts of his tongue because she'd been without it for too long.

She ran her fingers through his hair, holding his head, silently pleading with him not to stop. Not to leave her. He groaned and pulled her closer, aligning their bodies so she could feel him, hard and full, throbbing against her. Liquid heat pooled inside her and trickled between her legs.

She whimpered and he moved his hand and cupped her intimately, knowing and anticipating her need. "Max." Somehow, she found the strength to separate their lips.

With an agonized groan, he met her gaze. But he didn't move his hand and thumb rubbed in lazy circles over the soft denim covering her, until her breath came in shallow gasps and the dampness increased.

"What is it, Liz? Tell me what you want." It was an irrelevant question, asked more to tease.

She wanted the ache to ease. The throbbing to stop. And she never wanted it to end.

She wanted him.

But he knew that.

She tipped her head back and realized she was braced against the wall, her legs bracketed between his strong thighs. He stared back at her with a heavy-lidded gaze. "Talk to me," he murmured. "I missed hearing your voice."

But one of his fingers was tracing her moist lips and the sensation was both sensual and hypnotic. Clearing her mind wasn't easy. She wasn't even sure why she needed to speak when he could read her mind just as clearly. "I missed... I wanted... I..." Her voice trailed off as his wet finger moved from her lips to her jaw, to her collarbone, settling finally in the soft V of her top.

His gaze never left hers and that same finger pushed down on the elastic, exposing her breast to his heated gaze. Her stomach muscles contracted with need.

He sucked in a ragged breath that matched one of her own. "I missed making love to you," he muttered.

He cupped her chin and tilted her head for a gentle kiss. A hard, demanding one would have been more welcome.

Her sigh spoke volumes. She leaned towards him and bucked her hips against his painful arousal. "Me too," she whispered in his ear.

Only then did Max let himself look down at her breast filling his hand. He brushed his thumb over one tight peak and felt the pull straight to his own groin. He dipped his head for a taste, her moan ringing in his ears.

Her unique scent filled him as he pulled the tight bud into his mouth. He flicked and teased with his tongue and then his teeth, until her hips rocked so insistently against him, HE was in danger of losing control. Driven beyond thought or reason by weeks of abstinence from her, he reached for the snap of her jeans and between the two of them, her pants hit the floor, then his, then their underwear followed.

Lifting her, he told her hoarsely to wrap her legs around him. She did, and as he lowered her onto him, her body took him deep inside.

A muffled sound broke through his ecstasy and he opened his eyes in time to catch one lone tear drip down her cheek.

"I missed you so much, Max." Her legs grasped him tighter and she contracted around him. He let out a groan.

Leaning forward, he licked the salty tear off her cheek. The motion had the effect of grinding the lower bodies together. The wave crashed and eased. Her soft sigh was music to his starved ears.

"Max?"

"Hmmm?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"Any slower and I might have to strangle you."

He grinned at her, but despite his amusement, his body was hammering for release. And she'd just given him the okay.

He meant to move then, but she beat him to it, turning their union into a rocking, twisting motion that had the effect of drawing him into her, body, heart and soul. The tempo increased and they moved against each other until the swaying and twisting had their bodies reaching... cresting... peaking on a wave so strong, everything inside them was swept away.

They had made a great life together with good jobs and wonderful kids, but here, in this place that only the two of them shared, they were complete.

They were home. With nothing missing from either of them.

- The End -