Lost Highway

Rating: ADULT
Category: Dreamer and some Supporting Candy - AU w/out Aliens
E-mail: behrsgirl77@msn.com
Disclaimer: The titles to each chapter as well as the lyrics on the banner, and below each chapter title, were taken from Bon Jovi's Lost Highway album. While they inspired this story, I do not claim them to be mine. The story however, is all mine.

Summary: Sometimes you find love, but it's at the wrong time and the wrong place. Some betrayals can never be forgiven. And sometimes you can't help the one you love, no matter how they came to be.

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Part 5

A SEAT NEXT TO YOU

On an old park bench, in the middle of December, cold hard rain falling, can't find no cover; that would be all right with me. Hard days, good times, blue skies, dark nights

Baby, I want you to take me... Wherever you're going to.
Maybe say that you'll save me... A seat next to you.

TIME TICKED BY ONE LONG SECOND AT A TIME; she wasn't sure what she was doing anymore. Everything inside of her told her she was doing the right thing by Max. She didn't know how to be in a normal relationship, which was everything he deserved.

At the same time, she knew she wanted to be selfish and keep him for herself. Truth be told she wanted nothing more than to be with him. Nothing more, than to hear him tell her he loved her every day for the rest of her life.

Running was easy.

Being alone wasn't.

Maria's words echoed in her head, "Aren't you lonely yet, Liz?" Damn, she was lonely even when she was in a crowded room. Lonely, until she ached inside from the emptiness, from the coldness that no heat could ever warm.

For the first time in a long time someone warmed her from the inside out. Being with Max, even for the few short days, was enough to give her a taste of what she'd missed all these years. Years she wasted. Years that she may never recover from.

She felt more like herself, the old Liz, than ever before, when she was with him. He made her feel special, with just a look. How could someone have that much of a hold on her heart, so quickly? With a teary smile, she thought, only Max Evans could make her smile and cry all at the same time.

This time, however, her tears were her own doing. Max only made her cry the good tears. The tears, she hadn't cried in... ever.

He wanted a family with her. He wanted to take care of her. God, it was everything she ever dreamed of having a man say to her, and for it to be Max Evans, it was enough for her to reach out and pinch herself.

Yes, it was really happening.

Was she really ready to leave him behind forever? Was she really ready to let her second chance go, without even a glance back? Was she ready to let the best damn thing that ever happened to her go, without even trying?

Liz knew she had to make up for her lies, and for walking away and she knew that she needed help. Help not only from Max, but from Maria and Michael as well. Help to figure out what she would do with the rest of her life. Professional help, so that she could understand why she stayed in a worthless relationship for so long, something she promised herself she would never repeat.

Then again, she had a strong feeling that being in a relationship with Max, wouldn't be anything close to what she and Tom had. Max and her together were just... more. Without even speaking, just looking at him made her smile, it made her happy. Happier then she can ever remember being in her life. That said something.

Life, Max had shown her in a few short days, was really worth living after all. It was worth joining in the world, participating in the sunshine and rain. Being a part of something special, a part of Max.

He wouldn't forgive her. She was cruel when she should have been kind. Words left unspoken simply linger, and she didn't want her words to linger. She didn't want to linger.

With a defiant swipe of her eyes, she focused her attention on the road...

*~*~*

"Max, you need to calm down," Maria tried to be rational, knowing it was too late for that. She knew that Liz's words burned deeply. Max wouldn't recover, not the same. He'd given her his all and she dumped it on the side of the road.

Maria knew Liz had it in her to stay, but she ran. She wondered if she'd find what she was looking for. Too bad, she thought, the thing Liz needed was waiting right here for her. Max wouldn't go to her; Maria knew that. He'd put his heart out there, after a few short days, and expected something in return. Instead it was thrown back in his face, as if it were nothing for him to have let those words be spoken aloud.

Maria's gaze slipped towards Michael's and he caught on quickly, for a change, she thought with a smile.

Michael moved in front of Max's rabid pacing, placed and arm on his friends shoulder and pleaded with him to think rationally. And understand that Liz needed to figure things out by herself.

Max's shoulder shagged, running both of his hands through his hair, he knew Michael was right. It didn't make it better. It sure as hell didn't bring Liz back and damn her for that.

He knew she was lying. He knew she loved him; it was there all over her face. Every look she gave him, every touch they shared, and every kiss they'd had and stolen already told him how Liz felt about him.

But to go back to her abusive husband when he was offering her an out? He couldn't understand that.

"Max, I don't trust the guy and knowing that she's going to face him alone, doesn't sit well with me," Maria came up beside both men. Max turned to her first, his eyes narrowing. "Don't you think that every time I close my eyes I just imagine what he's going to say, or god forbid, do to her? Don't you think I want to get my ass on a plane and race her home? But I can't Maria, because all it will mean to her is that I've stepped into something that isn't my business." Letting out a defeated sigh, Max walked over to the couch and dropped himself down on it.

Michael looked at Maria and nodded for her to give them some privacy. Maria was reluctant, why did she have to go, now? Liz was her friend too and... oh, she thought, pressing her palm to her mouth, maybe leaving wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

With a little bit of a skip, Maria left the room.

Michael watched his wife curiously, Maria was Maria, but the face she just made, it was a mixture of sickness and giddiness, odd. Shaking the puzzle that is Maria from his mind, he turned back to his best friend. Trying to find the right words, but hating that they didn't come as smoothly as they would from Max. He was always better with his feelings... at least he used to be. Michael didn't know what this blow would do to his ego; many would be surprised by how sensitive Max really was.

Not that they ever got to see it, but Liz did.

"Look, Max. I'm not gonna blow smoke up your ass here. What she did was wrong, but she did it out of impulse. I think if she had really stopped to think about it, she wouldn't have taken off. But she did, and you have to figure out what you're going to do about it."

Max whipped his head up; his eyes piercing through Michael's like mini daggers. Did Michael think he didn't want to do anything? Was he not listening when he told Maria that he wanted to be there for her? It didn't matter, any move he made towards getting involved in Liz's marriage would be destructive for both him and her.

His voice depleted of fight he said, "I don't want to talk about it anymore, Michael. I'm going to bed." Max made a move to stand, but Michael stopped him.

"So you're going back into hiding? How many girls do you think you'll have to fuck in order to forget her, this time?" Crude, but true, Michael thought. Sadly, so did Max.

"None of your damn business," Max nearly growled out, pushing to his feet and turning on his friend. Why did he also have to pick a fight with him? He was exhausted mentally and physically to even want to try.

Michael leaned back, crossed his arms over his chest and thought it over. "It's over Max."

"What's over?"

"This game you've been playing in life. Trust me a few years ago; I was primed to walk down that path with you. It was fun, but it got old. It got damned unfulfilling. Aren't you tired of it?"

"Of what? Sex? No, Michael, sorry I'm not." Max chose to answer only the superficial part of the question, because anything else hit too close to home.

Michael gave him a pointed look, and said, "You know damn well I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking of not having any connection to the person you're with. Years ago, when you were pining over Liz, you took pleasure in everyday things, like just seeing her was enough."

"Yeah well, I was sixteen, and I've come a long way. I even graduated college too... big world out there," sarcasm, his forum of choice when he wanted to avoid something, especially Michael's questions and analysis.

"Bullshit yourself all you want, but I know how you feel about Liz so don't lie. I know it's got to hurt, what she did but..."

"But what? There is nothing after that. Don't you get it? She left... again. She left me, again. There's only so many times you can beat a dog down before he realizes he's getting his ass beat on purpose."

Shaking his head, Michael said, "Not on purpose. You're just pissed off, but when you calm down you'll realize that she couldn't have meant it."

Max grew silent for a few minutes. He knew his anger was overshadowing the truth. Liz did care about him; she wouldn't have just used him for sex. God, how it had hurt, those words from her mouth, even if they were a blatant lie.

No, Max knew deep down, but right now he was angry with her; more than that though, he was worried for her. Maybe he should leave after her, maybe he should force her to stay... maybe... he was tired of waiting for Liz to realize what they could be together.

They had their second chance and she walked away.

Was it his pride? Was that what was stopping him from going after her? Probably.

"Max, did you hear me?" Maria yelled again from the doorway. Shaking his head he focused on her, "What?" he said.

"Someone just pulled up the driveway..." Maria had to grip the wall when Max ran past her and out the front door.

With a smile on her face, she strolled over to her husband and offered him up a wink.

"What's going on?" asked Michael with suspicion lacing his words.

"Nothing," she said as she moved closer, and then straddled him on the couch.

"Maria..." his tone demanding, she shivered and leaned in to whisper something into his ear.

Michael's entire body froze, he reared back, searching his wife's face for any hint of humor, but saw none.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, the doctor called me earlier, but there was no time to talk to you in private. And since we have the dreamer frenzy currently going on, I didn't want to wait any longer."

"Dreamer frenzy?" he asked, then shook his head; that was Maria's way of describing Max and Liz's relationship or lack there of.

"So a baby?" he said, happiness rolling over him in waves.

Maria smiled and nodded her head, "A baby."

"If I don't tell you how much I love you every day, forgive me. I'm a guy. But I do love you, Maria." Leaning in he kissed her lips, cupping the back of her head and wrapping an arm around her slim waist. It would grow soon and deep down he couldn't wait.

Maria let out a laugh when Michael suggested they find a more secluded place, like their bedroom. "We can't!"

"Oh, we can and we will. Upstairs. Now." Michael didn't wait for her protests; instead he scooped her up into his arms and practically ran up the stairs.

He just hoped that Max and Liz had a better outcome than the last, because he knew, for sure, that Liz was the one that drove up a few minutes ago. With a smile on his face for more than one reason, Michael carried his newly pregnant wife up the stairs for some much-needed privacy.

*~*~*

Her entire body shook. Gripping the steering wheel one last time, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and willed her heart to slow down enough so she could stand without falling over from fear.

Fear of how Max would react. Fear that he may not forgive her. Fear that she'd destroyed everything they could have had.

Turning the ignition off, she knew what she had to do; she hadn't come all this way to runaway again. It was time she took control of her life.

Movement from the front of the car gave her pause. Deep sadness overtook all her current emotions. She'd put that look on his face. And it hurt like hell. How was she ever going to make this better, she wondered with a thick ball of emotions clogging her throat. Tears, already brimming her eyes, were the last thing she needed right now.

Liz tried to focus on something other than the somber, hurt and confused face that was Max Evans standing in front of her car, without blinking. As if he didn't believe his own eyes.

With a deep breath, she made a move to open her door, but he beat her to it.

"Ma-"

His voice tight, as if it were causing him a great strain to release the words, he said, "Don't say anything. Move over. I'm getting in."

Liz obeyed, because honestly what else could she do? Emotionally she couldn't challenge him, and damn it, she didn't want to. She would go anywhere with him. Anywhere.

That thought alone gave her strength to follow through with her plans. If necessary, to beg him for forgiveness and to never let her go.

Max drove for minutes, just watching the scenery until he'd found the spot. Their time in the car could only be described as an electric silence.

When he'd finally found the spot, he pulled over, asked Liz to wait for him and then reached out his hand to her. Waiting to see if she'd take it. Waiting to see if maybe he was giving his hopes up too soon. Maybe she wanted to explain, maybe she wasn't going to say she was sorry she left, just the way she did.

A small triumph, she took it and followed him deeper into the park. He'd come here with his family years ago and then with Michael and some guys from school to play touch football. Liz would sometimes show up with Maria in tow, and now he knew that it was to see him after all. Biting back his smile he continued to search for the most secluded bench, one where the passerby couldn't see them on the street or the sidewalk.

Liz waited, patiently for Max's next move. He settled himself atop a park bench, it was dark, but not dark enough that she couldn't make out his face or his body, she swallowed, hard.

She stood with her hands clasped together, resting on her skirt and tried not to throw out her apologies.

"Why did you come back, Liz?" he asked, shifting his body so that his elbows rested on her knees.

Her legs shook, and not from being cold.

"I... I'm sor-"

His voice, a whispered growl cut into her words, "I don't want an apology. I want an answer. What made you turn around and come back?"

Liz's eyes dropped to the ground in front of her, that she couldn't make out, but it didn't matter, she wasn't focused on anything but not loosing Max. Not when she was so close to having him.

"I did what I thought I had to do, before but I... I came back for you. For us. If there even is an us. I thought about what happened between us, about what I was running back to and I hated myself for being weak. For lying to you, for..."

Max didn't move, but his heart jumped in his chest. She came back for him, while it made him happy at the same time, was she there for the wrong reasons? Was she running from Tom to be with him because it was easy?

Why did he have to make this so much more complicated, he wondered. Couldn't he just accept that Liz was back and wanted to be with him? Sardonically, he knew he couldn't just accept this with her without knowing if she was here for herself, to make herself happy, as well as being with him.

"Do I make you happy?" The question was out of left field for her, but he knew where he was going with it and that was all that mattered right now.

Well, that and the fact that she'd stepped closer, her hands braced on his knees. He could smell her light floral scent from this proximity. Closing his eyes briefly, he took a deep breath.

To hell with it, he wasn't ready to let her go, call it selfishness but he couldn't let her go again.

Had there been better light, she would have seen how dark his eyes had grown, but maybe it was better she didn't get a glimpse of his raw passion and ache for her, just yet.

Nodding her head, she said, "Yes. Max, I know we've only been reunited for a few days, but it feels like we've always known each other. I feel so... comfortable with you and everything just feels... it feels..." she grasped for the words and then smiled when she looked at him, "Right."

He was still silent and she had wanted to apologize, to explain better why she left. Abruptly, Max leaned back resting his hands on the table behind him and surveyed her in the moonlight.

"Do you know how beautiful you look?"

Blushing, and more blushing, thank goodness for the darkness.

"Let me ask you something, Liz. And I want an honest answer, even if you think it's not something I want to hear. I promise I won't get upset. Okay?"

Emotions gripped her from her fingertips to her toes, she wasn't sure she could handle the question. All she wanted was to throw her arms around his neck and never let go. It hurt to be away from him.

"Okay," she whispered, nearly breaking down to tears. This was torture.

"If you came back to the house now, and found I wasn't there, what would you have done?"

Heart pounding silence.

Liz didn't take long with her answer, something he was thankful for. "I would have done whatever I could to find you. To explain to you that I was sorry and..."

"Don't apologize. Just answer the question sweetheart," he murmured, reaching out one hand tangling it in her hair and bringing their faces closer together.

Her breath fanned his cheek and he could feel her body shaking. He hated it, but knew it was necessary.

Closing her eyes, fighting the urgency to cry, she bit her bottom lip and composed herself enough to try and answer the question; without apologizing. "After I found you, I would have asked for your help, to get out of my marriage. I would have asked that you hold me, and never let go. I would have told you that I love you, that I realized I let you down, but all I needed was a chance to show you how great we are together."

Max smiled, swiped the tears from the corner of her eye and asked, "And what do you think I would have done?"

Liz looked at him, blinking in confusion. What would he have done? She wasn't sure how to answer and then it hit her, she understood what he was really asking her.

"You would have done it all, and you would have loved me despite all the mistakes I may have made, and will make. Because you wouldn't expect me to be perfect, just to be... me." Liz looked expectantly at him, and he smiled, kissing her lips gently.

Pulling back he said, "Good girl. I knew you had it in you."

"I know you're not him, Max."

"I knew you did, I just had to make sure you didn't have any doubts, Liz. Because..." he trailed off, kissing her cheek, unable to resist kissing and touching her.

"Because what?" she whispered out against his neck.

"Because you're it for me, no one else, Liz. I've searched for years for someone who reminded me of you, but I never found her. No one will ever be you to me, Liz."

Never were there more beautiful words spoken in her life. Liz leaned in closer, wrapping her arms around his neck as his arms lifted her and settled her up on his lap. Squeezing him tightly, never wanting to let go, Liz whispered into his ear, "No one is going to love you more than me, Max."

She felt him smile against her neck and she fell even more in love with him.

- - -