Lost Highway

Rating: ADULT
Category: Dreamer and some Supporting Candy - AU w/out Aliens
E-mail: behrsgirl77@msn.com
Disclaimer: The titles to each chapter as well as the lyrics on the banner, and below each chapter title, were taken from Bon Jovi's Lost Highway album. While they inspired this story, I do not claim them to be mine. The story however, is all mine.

Summary: Sometimes you find love, but it's at the wrong time and the wrong place. Some betrayals can never be forgiven. And sometimes you can't help the one you love, no matter how they came to be.

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Part 4

THE LAST NIGHT

There's nothing worst than living less, when you yearn for something more.
Makes no sense, its hard to understand, when there's something that should fill you up,
keeps slipping through your hands.

"SO, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?" MARIA ASKED, when she clearly saw Liz packing her bags. It had been one day since they'd returned from camping. And to the best of Maria's knowledge, Liz was avoiding Max. Making excuses that she wanted to spend some time with her, but Maria knew better.

"What do you mean? I have to go. It was always the plan."

"So you're going to leave just like that? After what you and Max..." Liz spun and eyed Maria suspiciously. How could she know, unless Max told her.

"After me and Max, what?"

"Hey, sweetie, it's me. You can't lie. And neither can Max, at least not to Michael. It was obvious that something happened between the two of you. I know it's only been a few days, all you did was talk and then well... there was your tryst." Maria winked at her friend and then skipped to the other side of the room.

"I think it's going to rain later."

"What? Maria, how can you go from one subject to another, like that?" Liz was torn between feeling angry, and embarrassed even, that everyone knew that Max and her had slept together, and being happy as hell.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to take your mind off of being angry with me for knowing. I thought you'd be happier, that you'd want to... to..."

"Stay?" Liz offered, with a sigh.

"I want to Maria, but I can't."

"Why not? Don't you love him, Liz?"

"No," she answered quickly.

"No?" Maria asked skeptically. "Because from what I can tell, Max has never been happier in his life and don't kid yourself into thinking that it doesn't have everything to do with you."

"Maria, you're not helping. I have to go. I need to go. I need to figure things out, alone."

"Alone. Funny, you should say that, because haven't you been living alone for years, Liz? Aren't you lonely, yet?" Maria asked, having no shame at all. She would pull out all the punches to get Liz to rethink her idea of leaving.

Liz threw her shirt into her suitcase and rammed it shut. She didn't want to leave, but sooner or later Tom would come, she was surprised he hadn't shown up yet. But when he did, Max would know that she lied to him. That he'd slept with a married woman, and that she'd had an affair. She wasn't proud of it, but she would never change or take it back.

Not any of their time together. It was too precious. Too important.


"Of course I'm lonely Maria. Of course I miss all of you. But my life isn't here, Maria." She tried to argue her point, but Maria wouldn't make it easy.

"Where is your life then? Back in LA? With some other guy, who isn't going to treat you half as great as Max would? He can take care of you Liz, he can give you everything you deserve," Maria pleaded, but Liz shook her head in defiance.

"I don't need his money, Maria."

"I didn't say that. That's not what I meant. I'm trying to understand you, Liz. I'm trying, but you're going to walk away and you're going to break his heart."

"Maria, what are you talking about? I'm not going to break his heart. It was just sex! Nothing more! You said it yourself, he's been with plenty of women, and I'm no different Maria." Liz didn't believe it, maybe if it were anyone other than Max she would. But the things he said, the things he did, they were just for her. But if he found out she lied, it would hurt him even more. It was best that she left. She needed to get her life together.

"The hell you're not! Liz, that guy has waited years for you, years! If you walk away that would have been your last chance."

"Maybe I don't want a chance with him, Maria. Maybe I wanted to sleep with him, to know what it felt like, and walk away. Maybe I don't want him." That was clearly a lie that was hard, even for her, to say.

Maria, eyed her friend carefully, she knew Liz was lying. But damn it, she couldn't make her break. She was trying, and other than being completely mean to her, she wasn't sure what it would take. All she knew was that she was running out of time.

"So, it was just sex?"

"Yes!" Liz hissed out and searched under the bed for her shoes. She needed to leave tonight. Staying another day would just prolong the inevitable.

"You don't love him?"

"No."

"Not even a little?" she prodded on.

"Maria..." Liz became so agitated that she threw herself on the bed and began to cry. She couldn't take anymore. No more questions. No more lies.

"Okay, Liz. You win. I'll go. But I have something to say and you're going to listen whether you like it or not, you're my best friend. I feel like I failed you because I couldn't take you away from the situation. Even if I begged, which I did, you would have stayed. But I felt like a part of it was my fault. I should have seen that Tom was never good enough for you. I knew you should have been with Max, but you weren't ready... and then it was too late. I'm sorry, Liz."

Wiping her tears away, Liz lifted her head. "What are you sorry for?"

Maria took in a deep breath and moved to the door. "I should have told you a long time ago, that there was always someone, Liz, someone that was eager to love you, if only you could love him back. I hope you say goodbye before you leave," was all she said before leaving Liz with her thoughts.

Unfortunately, the only thing she could do, was cry harder.

It was a solid hour before she pulled herself from the bed to finish packing. It was done, she'd put all of her belongings into her bags and she was ready to leave. She should say goodbye, but it would hurt too much. It was better to sever all ties. A part of her was thankful that Max had dinner that night at his parents, he wouldn't be returning until later. They had planned to take a walk, grab a coffee and talk. There was nothing she wanted more than to spend endless nights with Max, but she wasn't free.

Not yet.

Carrying as many bags as she could at a time, she loaded up her car, pushed the key into the ignition and turned on her lights. What she saw when she looked out of her windshield literally broke her heart.

Max moved around the car, he'd raced over when he'd gotten Maria's frantic phone call. He pulled open her door and leaned down. "You're leaving?"

She looked panicked, she hadn't been expecting him, hell she wasn't even going to say goodbye.

"I have to go, Max. You knew that from the beginning," she tried to keep the tears from clogging her voice.

He shook his head, "No. Things changed, Liz. We changed. Was that all just a lie? Was it all one sided?" he asked, accusingly.

"No, Max. It wasn't, but I can't stay."

"Why the hell not?" he asked, his voice growing louder by the second. She noticed that both Michael and Maria were now standing outside, witnessing everything.

She was shaking from head to toe; she didn't want it to be like this. She didn't want to have to hurt him. "Max, I have to figure out what I want from my life," her words were quickly cut off.

"And that doesn't include me?" the hurt was clear in his voice, but the anger and betrayal was etched in every feature. That was her demise.

She couldn't hold back, the tears fell and she tried to wipe them away, but it was futile, they fell too hard and too fast. She was going to have to lie; if she didn't then he would convince her to stay, which wasn't an option.

"Max, I..."

"I love you, Liz. Damn it, you can't leave! I finally have you back..." he shook his head, and kneeled before her, "You can't just walk away." Covering her face with her hands, she began to cry in earnest, he loved her. She knew he wasn't just saying it to make her stay, he meant it.

He loved her. He would take care of her. He wanted to and god knew she wanted him too, but it was unfair. She was married, and he didn't know it.

"I'm sorry, Max. I don't know what else to say."

"Tell me you love me, Liz. Tell me, and I promise I'll never leave you. I promise, I'll always love you Liz, and I'll never hurt you. I want to spoil you. I want to..." he pushed his hands through his hair, "I want to have kids with you... I want to have a life with you. Tell me you love me, Liz; just tell me..." he whispered out grasping her hands in his.

She looked down at him, knew he was at his most vulnerable, but knew that while she loved him, she didn't deserve him.

Finally, she would tell him the truth, the truth that he deserved, even though it would hurt him. The truth that would make him to walk away and never think of her again. A truth, which would break not only his heart, but hers as well, because she wished it weren't true.

"I'm not divorced, Max. I lied to you. I'm still married to Tom."

"You're what! You said you were divorced for two months, so what was I?" he asked, standing and pacing. Michael had moved out and come to his side.

And with a little truth, comes a big lie, she thought.

"It was just sex, Max." Her voice, foreign to her own ears, carried up to him, and he growled in anger.

"Damn you, Liz! Damn you!" he stormed away, into the house; Maria shook her head sadly and followed him in.

"Liz, you don't have to go."

Giving Michael her most encouraging smile, "Yes. I do. I'm still married; he'll be coming for me. I have to do the right thing."

"What? Stay with him? Wait until he decides that ripping into you with words isn't enough for him? Liz, you might be hurt, but you're not stupid. You have to know if you go back..."

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. But I appreciate everything you've done over the years, don't think I don't know how you would hang things over Tom's head, thereby making sure he never hit me. You might not have thought it was much, but it was more than I can say. I'm sorry about Max."

"Me too. I'm sorry you felt you had to lie to him." Liz's eyes moved to his, searchingly.

"He's angry right now, but he knows you love him Liz. You might be different, but you're not a mean person, and anything between you and Max..." he paused and let out a huff of a laugh, "could never be just sex." And with that, he turned and left her.

She was alone again. Just as she had claimed she wanted to be.

Closing her door, she wiped her remaining tears, and pulled out the driveway, the house fading the further she went. And as it did, she made a vow to herself; it was the last night for the rest of her life that she'd feel alone.

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